Something to regret

In all my earlier travels, ive been so exited that i was "there" that the entire experience was ultimately about myself. Now when i think about my last conquest, i realize the difference between a journey and a pilgrimage. Journey is what any tourist undertakes, to benefit from a difference of culture, sights, sounds, smells, tastes. A pilgrimage however, has an objective that far surpasses the act of traveling. It in fact is all about you, but in a difference sense.

Upon seeing the mountains for the first time, (which is etched deeply in me) I felt something inside that just clicked almost audibly. I felt a vast gulf forming inside me, and longed to fill it with the snow capped peaks.Thus, the wanderlust in me that has lain dormant for so long was poked with a firebrand.It remains in perpetual insomnia -awake and raging to push me out of any comfort zone, making me dream of making my feet dirty.

Ultimately, a total experience of any place you go to will never happen, unless you live there. Many places may not even be worth it.. So there is no point in running around trying to grasp everything, see everything. Its like going to a cheap sale, and you are never satisfied, always thinking there might be a better deal in the next stall. (like in Bangkok's flea market).

I regret that i did not slow down, and absorb the scenes that i came across.In fact, its ironic that I was actually too intent on "absorbing" scenes that i ran from one to the other. Its then that you realize that there are many details that are missing. When i visited the Taj Mahal, i was speechless with everything about it. All i remember now of the Taj Mahal is that i was speechless. That maybe enough for many, but i cant stand that. I mean, other than all the obvious details, all i can say is it was beautiful. Like any common tourist would say.I mean i can remember mostly what i saw. But its not enough to move me to paint something beautiful about tragedies of love maybe. Simply put, what i regret is that i failed to record the thoughts and feelings that flowed through me. All that remains now are just pictures.

A pilgrimage is about discovering things about yourself. Its no use to comeback with album fulls of pictures and try to reconnect to a moment long past. To preserve its purity, it must be recorded, with pen, paper and art.

Those thoughts are very precious.