Sunday, December 10, 2006

Feelings and Principles 2

What is knowing something? Is it the same as not knowing something? Maybe not but in the context of knowing itself, does it really matter? Is there certain things we must know in order to survive or are all the popular knowledge just guidelines on fitting into society? As we go upon this line of thinking, we begin to wonder if all this is just unnecessary complications to common sense.

Common sense is always assumed, and is always quite contextual. With hindsight, many can say they did not act in common sense, so it throws the doubt on exactly what common sense is. Is it an arbitrary thing? Does everyone have the same “amount" of common sense? Basically what common sense seems to mean is to make simple decisions based on rational conclusions. So by saying use common sense, it tell us not to make something complicated.

I myself have found that if one uses common sense in its pure form, his chances of winning in any normal situation is close to perfect. But the mind is not so forthcoming. Simple decisions are overshadowed by complex emotions. Fear, hate, love, anger, desire all impact your decisions. Pressure of the moment, fear of failure, what others may think all impinge upon you.So common sense is only available completely is you are able to master all your emotions. This is apparent when one is detached from a situation, like in hindsight.

Can all your emotions be mastered? I dont think so. Then you are constantly in denial of what u feel.This is an important part of some cultures, most notably in the Samurai way and martial arts, can probably be achieved by long years of study. But the normal everyday person? To tackle this problem, this is what I think.

  1. Emotions are real.
  2. Decisions need to be made.
  3. We never know what will happen afterwards.

So, the logical conclusion would be that, if u cant control what happens to you, u have to control how you deal with it. And if emotions cant be tuned off, we must use them in our decision making.

How will u use emotions? By directing them through principles.

A principle is a truth cannot be challenged, and is something, you yourself by your very nature, believe. These are natural. (this can be debated on grounds of evolutionary theory). See Feelings and principles 1[previous post].

Example: honesty. Is that natural? Yes it is because, we have teach ourselves to lie, or make a decision to lie. So honesty is the natural state, or zero value. A natural principle like honesty would not directly conflict with your basic emotions. Would you feel bad because you told the truth? You may but as you read that sentence, don’t you feel that it is true itself.Do you feel a natural conflict? If I had said, would you feel bad that you lied for a good cause, don’t u suddenly have to process it in your brain before you answer? This small hiccup, or millisecond is where u call your brain to answer, and when ever the brain answers, you are not using your basic emotional response.

So lets list down the basic principles:

  • Honesty
  • Openness
  • Sympathy
  • Desire

There is no such thing as positive or negative emotions, but what im looking for are basic emotions. And if one were to say that we have to control our desires, that would mean mind over ruling the basic emotions. Lets get controversial then (or try to)

Sex. The moment we say the word it, it brings out certain responses in the brain. For example "taboo", "hush" . Thats cultural conditioning and the mind working. Sexual desire is completely natural. We are expected to curb this desire for unnatural reasons. (this is an academic discussion folk, sit tight until I finish). The desire itself exists to be fulfilled. Now, the evolutionists would say it was developed to ensure continuity of organisms, religious view is a two fold approach that says for reproduction and to test you.

So is sex wrong or right?


Getting too long again, continue in part 3.



Friday, December 08, 2006

Feeliings and Principles 1

As i always say(2 myself), feelings can never be rationalized. What are feelings? Feelings are obviously of a construct that we we ourselves are only subject to. Though we can judge why or how a certain feeling arose or how much of it we experience, can we ever truly determine what exactly we felt. What I am talking about is not the biological stimulus that flows through your nerve path ways causing your brain to release warning indicators such as pain, cold, hunger, etc.Its the kinds that impact upon our judgment and normally known as jealousy, fear, emptiness, pride, etc and the supposed king of all feelings;-love.


Before we dwell on love, i used to think that there were others things, or more correctly; principles that could be above love. Love itself is a feeling when experienced, and a principle when applied. I had a list of these principles stuck to my wall before, and i had memorized it, and love was not in them.

  • faith
  • honour
  • honesty
  • resolve
  • discipline
  • patience


There would be some who would say the best of all this is found in love, but then again we are challenging the paradox, that feelings can never be explained. Why else do you wonder that people say things like:- I love LC very much, i and very fond of my uncle, i like twix ice cream.All that these sentences indicate are that one feels an abundance of a particular emotion towards another person or thing. We cant give a number to it, and we cant say that i wont be eating twix ice cream long after my uncle was proved evil and i had fallen out of love with LC. So a feeling is dynamic,has quantity, has time period, and have influences, has beginnings, has ends. So put that in the context of a human mind and you will see why i conclude feelings cannot be rationalized. Does that slight feelings in anyway? No i doesn't, its only an appreciation of how complex they are. So there is a choice. I remember commenting on a blog the other day that nobody ever read freud to better understand their partners.( Well i did read Freud and i don't recall any of it today (except his father figure neurosis theory)-very academic and boring)


Being centered on principles is the key in life. For those who have really read 7 Habits of Highly Effective people, by Stephen Covey, you may share the same opinion. Even Covey admits that these principles were not of his own construct, they are the collective wisdom of centuries of social knowledge. It had a high impact on me, because things became very clear when I read it.Also, its not a belief system, or an imposing ideology in its basis (its application differs)


The interesting thing here is that principles do not collide with most religious beliefs systems and all natural belief systems. But that is debatable with regard to which belief system in queston as the range does a full gamut form deeply complex to just plain crazy. Natural cultural belief systems like in this country where there used to be a really high trust environment until recent days. For example people rarely steal then, like if you saw a fallen coconut, u can draw a circle around it with your finger and nobody else would touch it. That’s honour and honesty. Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism all promote harmony and value honesty, patience and discipline.


In low trust environments where we live today, it can be seen as hardly practical to have “unnecessary” virtues. Some of you may say, that’s not true, but in reality you find it hard as well, im sure. To make matters even more complicated, most people respect virtues, and use it as a yardstick to differentiate people. So what do people do, when its so hard to be virtuous and so appealing to others at the same time? You fake it.


More on this and Love later.(getting too long)

Friday, December 01, 2006

I do not love you..Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were brine-rose, topaz,
or barbed carnations thrown off by the fire.
I love you as certain hidden things are loved,
secretly, between night and soul.

I love you like the flower-less plant
carrying inside itself the light of those flowers,
and, graced by your love, a fierce perfume
risen from earth, is alive, concealed in my flesh.

I love you without knowing how, whence, when.
I love you truly, without doubts, without pride,
I love you so, and know, no other way to love,

none but this mode of neither You nor I,
so close that your hand over my chest is my hand,
so close they are your eyes I shut when I sleep.


Pablo Neruda.

Note: This is my most favorite poem.