something i found in the closet- published

why risk believing what others tell u
when truth is essential to living.
why trust knowledge of books,
when u read so little of them
why depend on logic without data
when u can train your natural instincts
without a map, without guidance
the entire world lies bare open
to conquer without light,
without thoughts to win or lose

surely, such is impossible for most
for they lack disciple and resolve
yet do u not feel the need-
to taste freedom.
that your soul is calling out for.

Story of my Secret

I need my dove to fly, leaving footprints of blank color.

-----------------fin---------------------------
"when I die, bury my body on that spot,
where i, anxious and in fear of my own self,
killed the hopes and dreams of my garden of azaleas.
Perhaps as lie dead and dreaming, fueled by those dreams
i may give birth to that unknown plant once more."


-----------Begin here-----------------
In your garden of white azaleas,
there is a strange plant, blossoming.
It needed no seed, seeks no water or sun
it existed because it must,
the beauty of the azaleas called for it
to rise out of nothing.

Now your garden is transformed in your mind,
because of one strange plant, that needed nothing.
Your azaleas, seem buoyant and young
Yet you ask yourself, what will it grow into?
Will it lead my prized garden to ruin?

The unknown plant gave off a mysterious scent
creating excitement, doubts, fear in your mind.
Growing ever uncomfortable, day by day,
until you gently kneel by the plant
and pluck it out, unable to whit stand not knowing.

Your garden of Azaleas remained beautiful, sweeter
and your mind has quietened in this safety.
Yet the unknown plant, stubborn in will, rose again.
Day after day, you pull them out, never once curious
of the nature of this plant, that just refused to go.

It has now become one more of your duties,
watering azaleas, weeding, pulling out the unknown plant.
You are amazed, yet refuse it a place in your garden.
One day, that single plant , that grew out of nothing,
whitdrew into the soil, defeated by you.


--------------the myths---------------------
Time sweeps upon your beautiful garden
Azaleas blossomed and lived, and grew tired
their scent waned of its intoxicating perfume
their sight seemed feeble, not delicate, just incomplete
their relentless aura has stopped feeding your soul.

In anger, you plant new roses, hibiscus and carnations.
You learn at once, that they would never belong here.
Growing old and weak and alone, everyday
you eyes and mind wanders, fixing on that spot
where one unknown plant grew, out of nothing

Without wanting to, you wonder, and dream .
You hear echoes in the distance, birds?
A fleeting feeling of sudden warmth, and cold
a fragrant breeze soaring thorough your hair
an intense longing that stops just short or revealing itself.

-----------veritas-----------

25 26 36 19
18 24 39
24 23 12 37 18

Alexander Graham Bell

A secret is like a dove: when it leaves my hand it takes wing.Who can catch my white dove?

Your Lips

the concave curves begin,
end together in symmetry,
the surface, raised and full
twin cliffs folded together
joined by a river, dividing
the pallet is of maroon, pink
hints of red and sparkling luster
the veins and folds supportive
the proud deposition, assertive
the moon existed here, at a certain moment
so did oceans, lions and cypress
at a certain moment, everything was this
there was no emptying of its spirit
yet none receives a full measure.
This sweetness, exotic amazon flower
Never tasted, yet full of taste, felt.

Your lips, they are made for kissing.
To be kissed, and kissed often
By someone who knows how to.

Animal

There is a coldness in my being
There is a being inside my Self
Itself longs to be build rockets
Buildings, towers, love, energy
Towering above my head, always
Heading towards waves. nameless
Counting clouds, naming stars, planets
Smiling softly to old men and children
A man, with wise intelligent eyes
Wisdom and calm permeate his aura
Calmness the sheathe to a storm withheld
Held perpetually, a walking explosion
Restless, i walk to find this being
This being called my vision
The vision of myself.

To touch purity, is to impair its perfection.
Revert.Revert. To pure animal self.

Is there no one, who will share my king?

Q and A

I ask you, what is dried leaves and twigs to you?
"chores,a burden- the clutter of gardens!"
But what of its texture and scent, the veins of its surface,
born through rain and wind, alone, for itself?
What of the glory of the shade of which it was part?
the living, breathing, ingenious eating of the celestial drops?
light captured and absorbed, held within and drunk within
a child may wonder why a tree does not glow
(Regret this! that we discard the gifts of innocence).
the gentle falling leaf, gliding upon complex formulas
teaching us invaluable lessons of life and science?

I ask you, what is your eye lashes to you?
"It helps me sleep, and protects my eyes!"
But what of its construct and impeccable design,
the perfectness in its simplicity of multi functionality
blended into every occasion and environment
as if the world was designed with it in mind
man may build bridges to space,
yet can never out do the arc of an eyelash.

I ask you what is your heart to you?
"It is the organ that keeps me alive,
it maybe where my consciousness dwells!"
On this i falter to offer grand explanations!
Who ever in this world understood a heart?
Is it not the woe of our incapability to do so
that has led us to war, toil, towers and dungeons
If it were just a blood soaked organ, perhaps
we humans shall find a costly measure of peace.
are not all laws set to tame the hearts of men?

synthesis of desire

at the moment of creation of arts and actions
I wonder, as you should too
of why i desired to do so.

I wonder if nature injects, woven
fears and allure to our being,
or is this itself a desire speaking,
to create grandeurs upon a flat existence.

I want, therefore i became
the instrument of unknown callings.
desire is rudimentary, 123
its workings pure and faithful

The direction is what matters, x and y
good and evil cannot be attributed
to what a heart needs, few it does
It is only what you give your heart,
That you must ponder upon, dissect
actions created sin, actions created love.

No man seeks to destroy himself, truth,
no heart needed such desire to beat
So ask your self, why must your heart beat for you?
physics applies to everything, body and soul

faith has logic, as does what you need.
desire what you need, not what you want.

Wish

30 feet up, zero to the edge,
Upon my face, challenging, connecting
Winds of Southern velvet, transparent,
flowing, touching, dominating
kissed with a hint of salt ice
i wish not for wings, i do not run.

Oh, cold winds, as blue as the sea,
tear open the doors to my heart.
blast away my fear, teach me your fury.
take my soul and rub it on the hindu-kush
soak it with the purity of Baikal lake
set it upon the lazy glaciers of Patagonia
roll it through the Mongolian seas of grass
and bind it to the hooves of Andalusian horses.

drop this rebel cloud, beyond the last horizon
To rise from that seed yet again, gain, again.


and when the day came, there was a man
who died with truly dirty feet.

Regna.

cravings delight, fires alight
echoes and aromas of night
Calling me out, creature of thought
demons and virtues breed aloud

never excel, seldom begun
some truthful work, yet undone.
heart of stone, sight weighed down
drifting away, hot blood,warm youth

when egos collapse, fortresses fall
what will i have but few lost dreams?
sunburnt grass, hooves of wild horses
chasing wind, striding in anger

always angry, ever angry,
I live, on.

Hunt, tonight

Tonight i shall hunt you down,
though I'm but a novice with such weapons
No armor shall dare whit stand the will
that i shall throw from my bow.

Tonight i shall hunt you down,
and strip your pride away
like many prime autumn trees
you shall become mine, bared to the root.

Tonight, i shall hunt fiercely,
without fear, without doubt
my spirit torments me
to brand your soul with my fire.

Tonight i hunt swiftly, like breath
angry upon lonely stretches of palm,
where silver glimmers dance upon leaves
under the heavy twilight moon.

Tonight, only tonight i shall hunt
For the faint scent that intoxicates me,
for the one moment when i may throw away myself
to fall through your fingers like sand.

Would you close your fist...

Tonight, Tonight

Tonight, in a moment of weakness,
I did look into my heart, to gaze upon that place
Hidden in its deep floral camouflage
Embroidered into these pulsing walls
Where my blood sleep next to your memory

Tonight, I shall recollect those memories
Of when I was released from interpreting
The meanings of hidden knowledge
To touch primal unpainted skin, silken
The stars and dark fabrics, moon and eyes

Tonight, I open the space between earth and stone
To uncover the living creatures, banished,
Burdened to carry a moment that moved time itself.
Stars, how you jealously watched through walls
What unfolded into a monument draped in musk and hibiscus.

That night, I was freed by a diffusion of colors
To my skin as it turned, a chameleon disco
That burned passion into ashes, skin into flame
Crystal towers fading into clouds of hue,
Rains joyously silent, blurred by distant tears.

That night, the pyramids stood tall again
As they watched history unveil its devious dagger
That plowed through hearts, joining them forever
into the centimeter of seconds that lasted
Forging a kingdom of silent green valleys

That night, diamonds and rubies tarnished shyly
With the silver glimmers of one lost kiss
That flew through the world until it was broken
To look into your shaded eyes, that shot arrows of perfume
Wounded in pleasure, they still pulse within me.

That night, I traveled through your tresses
Falling down cliffs of endless warm skin
The golden landscapes of your cheeks
The expertly folded origami of your ear
The enclosed labyrinth of your fingers

That night, desire suffocated the air
Like the sea, silent and menacing with potential
Flowing superfluously, through suspended souls
Lost as birds in space, aiming for a distant constellation
That ever glittered all through an effortless journey.

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight
till light,

Sunrise

Mountains, mountains floating above water
pink and blushing from the newborn sun
the sea is calm, with the weight of heavy clouds
ripples in the richest colors of dark and light

Sea, wind, cloud , essential for life
Sight, scent, sound, defining life.

For a moment i disappear, lifted
and roll myself into the heavenly cushions,
and gently reach down to draw
my name on the still waters
and watch waves carry it to distant shores.

See it reach the floating circles of Sand,
where a lone coconut in a bed of vegetation
waits its time to germinate, silently
into a tower to test the playful wind.

Look deeply and far away to the horizon,
keep looking, for if for a moment you close your eyes,
you may miss forever the greatest wonder
that destiny has chosen only you to see.

Infected with Writers Block

Much time have i spent, observing the world
recalling memories to give birth to lyrical word
many times have i signed in, only to stare
an empty box, pure, naked and bare
inside, a veil of glass bricks raised, weeds
thoughts piled up behind, cluttered newborn furniture
the critical pathway cutoff by this block
is the circulation of inspiration to my blog.
may lightning pierce this frozen mind
and bring forth the bounty held behind.
inspiration has lost its shine, words seem in fear
effortless before, now images fail to appear
My mind is clear, Friday's' washed white cotton
yet not peaceful, just happiness forgotten.



Note:
been opening and closing blogger for days now. Didn't know what to write. So i wrote about not knowing.

Eva Cassidy, your lullabys have stopped working.

So, with a slow moving finger
Silence warps into the volume
thunder, lightning, violins
i feel every pluck of the bass
the drums beat to my heart
shivers run on the piano
eyes shut. gritting teeth.
crescendo.legato.fortissimo.

the memories of lost kisses
are vampires of my sleep.

damn you, unfading alba.

damn you.

baby

a moment passes, and impact follows
the expressions breaks free to the surface
at that moment, there is no moon or suns
no politics or sombre musical disturbances
just a baby who knows only sight and scent
who gifts you with the purest of smiles
in recognition for the love in your eyes


suteki da ne.

Unedited as requested

Lost in my own depths, I wandered
I had wrote, clouds spread upon the blue
waiting for a radiant sun, illuminate!
fertile soil in my mind for wonder

Always dwelling upon myself, rejecting
simplicity for it being its undeniable self
closed my self within pages of tall books
and endless walks by the sea side in solitude

Then you came along, no splash was heard
I do not remember what i thought then
I was just grateful for intelligent conversation
yet I remember not speaking much

So long ago wasn't it my friend?
I remember when you left, I was at a loss
to understand what you meant to me
I took my time then by avoiding the answer

I do not think of you in a manner of thinking
Its just a spot in me longing for a feeling
listening to you I feel a certain calm
like the warmth of my home on a rainy day

I felt like cruising through peaceful images
blades of golden grass bowing to the sunset
spirals of rain dancing on the pavement
clear waves carrying coral sand to my feet

yet you were what you always are
you never asked me to change
yet Being around you changed me
like something in me never stopped healing

I was a confused person seeking a touch of reality,
tormented by a constant nameless anger
that was vanquished or forgotten
like it was afraid of your very presence.

Being with you I forgot many worries
Many murky clouds of thought left my mind
enjoying companionship of a wonderful friend
without any expectations what so ever

So quietly I listened and learned from you,
the simple beauty of simple things
sometimes I felt stupid for not speaking my mind
yet I never really felt you needed that of me

you taught me more things that you can imagine
that I cannot stop living my life
while dreaming of achieving a worthy life
that caring need not be said or announced

I do not miss you like missing something
I miss you like a one winged bird
constantly living with the realization
that you can make me fly higher

Thank you.

Driven on Direction

There is no consequence of knowledge
no guilt of what should haves could be
no need to look into a truthful mirror
no need to see blood to feel alive, yes.

Welcome to the realm of Just Being,
there is no moments, no thoughts here
just being is the pinnacle of consciousness
an ever burning explosion without convulsion

no thoughts of when to brake
no thoughts of changing gears
your only input is where to go
elegance is an extension of your automation

the road converges at your fingers
inwards within and outwards from you
both stretching to known infinity
draw on your mirror,one word: destiny or luck

Mental note to you

I will not die for you,obviously,
I cannot live for you, surely
but there is something annoying
that makes me wonder of perhapses

perhaps i am to you as much as u are to me.
This is not cause enough for such confusion
i feel lost at the edge of a cliff, thoughtful
i feel that i will fly away if i let myself fall

I can talk endlessly of beautiful things,
Perhaps i can lure you by words such as:
my heart follows your smile to my mouth, or
your radiance is the vacuum of my thougths

or somethings stupid/plausible like
your scent is my drug, your touch is salvation
my heartbeat echoes your fluttering eyelids, ha!
But why or why would i want to do that?

What amazes me is that i stopped to think
this matter has been decided, period.
Much time i have spent to conquer desire,
Only your conquest of my rationality,
would make make me submit to a partial feeling.

Somewhere, a long moment ago...

Somewhere, a long moment ago
a silent dream uncaged itself
with the power of sheer patience
Its existence unknown until that moment.
It was a sad nameless thing, flying away
i cant call it back, i might disappoint it again,
So farewell. Farewell my dream.

Death

to deny death we think to live to the fullest,
yet life cannot exist without death not its bride
beauty is severed of its sting, an unclosed circuit
if it were were attached to known infinity
to live to the fullest, we must live to die.

O blue ocean! So alive

Blue ocean, violent emerald in the glorious sun
surging crowns of the purest white
spread upon water by invisible knives
even your turmoil is articulate craft

silver fish gymnastics to the aquatic orchestra
each seeking a moment of freedom in the sky
what unearthly splendor, such magnificent color
What are you not but proof of God Himself!

Just as the sea is hungry, i am insatiable to see it
wonders beheld from mans eyes by routine
are we not both brothers in Gods creation?
what holds your eyes from your hearts desire?

My heart longs for its forgotten dreams
energy rides upon my pulse, exploding
drowning in the eloquent violence
I feel the sea salt in my blood, my lips.

If paradise can out do this simple beauty
the doorway of death is a grand adventure.


Inspired by one afternoon in Dolphin View Cafe , and uncountable walks along the seaside.